My Life: Read it. Don't Read it. See if I care. : So. It Happened.

I told them.

I mean I knew that I would have to tell them eventually, but I never really thought about when it would happen. And it happened pretty organically. The main reason why I didn't tell them sooner though is because I didn't know when or how would be best to bring it up to them. I didn't want to ruin the day with telling them about my absolute failure as a college student and I also didn't know how to even begin that conversation.

"So my life sucks. Can't be an engineer anymore. What's for dinner?"

...or....

"How was my day? Well, I just learned that all my efforts over the summer and this semester were all for naught. I can't be an engineer thanks to the asshole engineering dean. How was yours?"

I mean while that may work out nicely in my head, I have a feeling that it wouldn't pan out the same exact way in real life.

I am glad they know now. It's definitely been quite the cross to bear these past few weeks. And now I feel relieved. I can honestly talk about how my classes are going, and they know about my being booted from the Honors College. Though honestly, I can get back into the Honors College, as long as I bring my GPA back up to a 3.0. I did lie a little bit about my GPA. I told them it was a 2.9, when really it's around a 2.6/2.7. I mean it's not that big of a stretch. But still. It's a lie.

I know no college major is ever going to be easy though. I recognize that fact. But still.

Although apparently I was a little premature with emailing Laura about my taking a semester off.

Now that they know about my struggles with engineering, they told me that I can pick whatever major I want to take. My struggles were all for nothing because apparently they would've been ok with whatever major I wanted. And now I'm frustrated with myself because then I could've chosen to be a psychology major to begin with and I'd have graduated by now. Because you know I'd want to be that bad bitch that graduates college in less than four years. All those science and math courses I took for no reason. All that struggling and crying I did for nothing.

But I do feel better. About college. My future. Everything.

Now I get to have a major that requires classes that interest me. That's exciting! And a first!

I've always been the friend that people talk to their problems with and now it's a possibility that I'll end up getting paid for it? I think that's something I can get behind.